Jeff's Testimony

If you arrived at this page, you did so by your own choosing. You clicked on the link, and that is why the link is there, so people with questions can follow it and find out about this God that Jeff so frequently speaks of.

I have a tattoo on my left arm reading "Poverty nor riches" which is my life verse of sorts, coming from Proverbs 30:

⁷"Two things I ask of you, Lord; do not refuse me before I die: ⁸Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. ⁹Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God."

Those words are near and dear to my heart because there were times in my past when, having very little, I did dishonor God by lying and stealing. Maybe you even know the drill? Lying (some call it exaggerating) on tax forms and expense reports in order to get more for yourself or your family. That was me at times. A lying, thieving sinner.

And then those years of hard financial times where followed by years of tremendous abundance, when I transitioned from engineering to sales and my salary grew quickly from $45,000 in the early 1990's to over $300,000 in 1997. Those years when I all but forgot about/all but disowned God (just like Proverbs 30 warns). Durning that period in my life, money was my God and I traveled 200-300 days a year to serve money. To put money first. To worship money. Who knows, maybe you know what I am talking about? About money, success, status, toys, sports, entertainment...so on and so forth...becoming a god. By 1997, I was a lying, thieving, money worshipping man who all had forgotten about God.

Now please don't get me wrong.

In 1997, I was a church going man most Sunday's (Sunday mornings for an hour). Most Sunday's I would take my wife and children to mass, and I would recite the prayers and sing the songs, and then I'd go home and pack a bag for my next flight to go make some more money.

I was a hypocrite much of the time. Saying one thing and doing another.

The word "hypocrite" actually comes from actors who used to wear a mask in a play to depict someone they were not. That was me in a number of ways. Yes, I would talk about God and even go to church, but even though my words were close to God, my heart and my actions were far from Him too much of the time. I was a lying, thieving, money worshipping man who wore a Christian mask, yet in my heart I was on a path taking me from God and it showed through my actions.

Because you have already read the story of Integrity Laser, you know a car crash involving our children (17 and 14 at the time) changed the entire trajectory of our lives and made me revisit my priorities.

One day in my new corner office, of the laser company I moved across county to run after our children's accident, one of the men who worked for me came into the office and made the following statement; "I don't know how you got through the accident." My reply to him was; "I am a Christian and God got me through."

That man's next words may have changed my life more than "the accident" itself, when he said to me; "I didn't know you are a Christian."

He as a man who had been around me a lot. We'd worked together. We'd traveled together. We'd played golf weekly together. We'd drank together. We'd shot pool at the bar together. This man knew me, so when he told me that he didn't know I was a Christian, God quickly showed me who I was when the mask was off, for this man didn't know that I was a Christian, because he knew I swore swore just like him...I got drunk just like him...I viewed pornography just like him...I ogled women just like he did. So on and so forth, he thought I was just like him. A non-Christian. I was a lying, thieving, money worshipping, foul mouthed, lust filled, pornography watching, man getting drunk with the guys on our business trips, looking no different than anyone else sort of guy. If I added in the hate in my heart towards some of the people I knew, I'd can safely say, I had broken every one of the 10 Commandments by this point in time.

The truth hurts. When we see ourselves through the eyes of others, and even more importantly through the eyes of God, the Perfect and Holy One, it is a really painful process.

Now I'd like to say that after that moment of insight into who I was, everything got better. It didn't. Seeing myself as God and others saw me, was but the first step to be taken.

18 months after we moved to New England, the company I was working for was purchased by a competitor and I found myself fighting to save my job. And as people who worked for me started to side with the new company in order to preserve their own positions, I saw their actions as them stabbing me in the back, so I wen't into survival mode, and my attitude and actions toward my co-workers got really ugly, even to the point of threatening to kill one of them.

Then one of the best things that could have happened to me happened, I was let go. I lost my job and was walked out the building.

A few years ago I heard a Christian Comedian refer to the moment of his conversion from a non-follower of Jesus to a true follower of Jesus, as being the moment that he "got downwind of himself and smelled the stench" (something along those lines). I can think of no better way to describe what happened to me when I got home after being walked out of the building.

After telling my wife I had been let go, I went into my home office, got down on my knees and buried my head into the couch and confessed to the Almighty and Holy God, that no matter what I told others, that I was a lying, thieving, money worshipping, foul mouthed, pornography watching, lustful man who was self-righteous, self-seeking, self-exalting, self-glorifying and who did not put God first in my life, but put my own selfish wants first and I asked that God would forgive me for being me. I told Him I was now 100% His to do with what He'd like. I'd made a mess of my life. I knew He would do better!

We began with the tattoo on my left arm, so I may as well end with the tattoo on my right arm. The tattoo speaks to the truth that Jesus Christ alone rescues people who ask God's forgiveness, as I did that afternoon with my head bowed in shame before God my creator. Soli Den Gloria is Latin for "God's glory alone" because when Jesus rescues ("saves" as some like to say), it is not at all because the man or woman He's rescuing has done anything good enough to be rescued (just look at my list of who I was), but God rescues that person...He spares that person the just punishment due them for their sin...because He is good and loving.

¹"you were dead in the trespasses and sins ²in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— ³among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. ⁴But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, ⁵even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— ⁶and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, ⁷so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. ⁸ For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, ⁹not a result of works, so that no one may boast. ¹⁰For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

I was a lying, thieving, money worshipping scoundrel (not to mention) all that I described of myself earlier BUT GOD being rich in mercy, because of His great love for me, God took on the nature of man in the man Jesus, and He then lived a perfect and sinless life as a man, at which time He was put to death on a Roman cross, not for His own sins, but the Bible tells us for our sins. For my sins and for your sins. We're told that Jesus took upon Himself the sins of all who believe.

Because of my sin, I deserved to be punished by God. But instead of punishing me, God showed me grace and forgave my sins when He accepted the punishment Jesus took for my sins as payment in full for my sins.

Yes, that sounds like a deal too good to be true, but believe me. Better yet, believe God's Word that it is true.

Even better yet, stop trusting in your own goodness, your own abilities, your own self-righteousness and instead admit your sin to God and ask Him to forgive you as you believe that Jesus died in your place. When you do that, you will KNOW that what I have told you is true. Jesus died for sinners.